listen no one knows you better than yourself ! yes go see the school councillor ! and i believe you 100%. the school councillor will be your first step. see a doctor > how old are you ? it takes great courage for you to share dont let anyone stop you. your parent will come around. OCD is genetic. there is a lot of help available out there ! you are not alone and you are beautiful.

Thank you so much for your reply. It just gets so hard sometimes I think it would be easier to just end it all. I had such bad phases that I'd cry every night. I started thinking more about the first few weeks of when I got it (4 years ago, ugh!) and I remember that the thoughts were so foreign. I didn"t take them seriously, I just took them as paranoid thoughts since I have history of those. Idk, I'm just a really reserved person, I HATE telling anyone about my crushes, but I know for a fact that they were all male and that I do like boys. Ugh...I guess I have to just stick in there. Thank you once again!

One thing about us with OCD is we always seem to go on in our minds about how we just want to die... and I don't think anyone with OCD really wants to do that, sweetie. It's just our minds talking crazy. If this is OCD (and I think it is) you really don't want to hurt or kill yourself. If you WERE Lesbian (which I don't think you are) you would have, I think, had a history of knowing that you had a thing for girls. I'm Bi, and almost since I've been thinking about sex, I've thought about both sexes. Even when I was in denial about it at times, I always had a draw to the same sex- denial is telling yourself something that you deep down really know is there, it's not being unaware of it.

I really, really don't think you're gay. But your mind is spinning round trying to analyse ever little thing you say and do. That's what I do when I'm obsessing and worrying.

Well , she certainly needed your help.
But you have the right to do whatever you want , and whatever makes you feel good.
If you where able to help her you would stand but her side.
But maybe this way its better, you couldnt offer her a lot anyway.

I hope you do get to talk more about what you are going through. It is hard at times to be completely open with a therapist. I currently see one, but it has taken me some time to trust her completely. I wish you the best!